FIELD AGENT MARIEKESKI DOUMASKLAV REPORTING
MOST HONORED CANADIAN COMRADES, ENCLOSED IS MY REPORT ON MY LATEST EXCURSION TO CAPTALIST PIGSTY UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
SUCCESSFULLY PASSED LAX BORDER AGENTS WITHOUT AROUSING SUSPICIONS
AFTER TWO-DAY BUS RIDE ARRIVED IN CAPITALIST PIG-STATE "FLORIDA"
RENDEZVOUS MADE WITH CONTACT (CODENAME: SIRUNDEAD http://sirundead.newgrounds.com/), AN AMERICAN CITIZEN BROUGHT INTO THE LIGHT OF GLORIOUS COMMUNISM
CONDUCTED WEAPONS TEST WITH UNWITTING PAWNS SUPPLIED BY AMERICAN CONTACT. WEAPONS ARE PRIMITIVE BUT SATISFYING AND THIS AGENT OPERATED THEM WITH MAXIMUM OPERATIVE OPERATION
ENGAGED IN MANY MINDLESS ACTIVITIES THE CAPITALIST PIGS CALL "ZIPLINING" "SWIMMING" "DRINKING" "ENJOYING CHEESY JOHN WOO FLICKS" "GOING TO GATORLAND" AND "GETTING SUNBURNT"
US CUSTOMS ARE STRANGE AND ROOTED DEEPLY IN BOURGEOIS OVERINDULGENCE. WERE WE IN THE GLORIOUS MOTHERLAND THE ONLY ENTERTAINMENT REQUIRED WOULD BE FALLING TREES TO BURN IN THE PASSIONATE FURNACES OF INDUSTRY
AFTER SEVERAL DAYS BADE FAREWELL TO AMERICAN CONTACT "SIRUNDEAD," WHO REFUSED OFFER TO BE STUFFED IN TO LUGGAGE AND SMUGGLED INTO MOTHERLAND TO AID US IN BEAUTIFUL CONQUEST OF NORTH AMERICA. DECISION WAS WISE IN RETROSPECT, AS INEPT AMERICAN BUS LINES LOST THIS AGENTS LUGGAGE. LUCKILY ALL CANADIAN SECRETS WERE SAFELY SECURED IN THIS AGENTS COLON FOR DURATION OF OPERATION
FINISHING STATEMENT: RECON WAS INCONCLUSIVE. REQUIRE FURTHER EXPLORATIONS INTO AMERICAN WASTELAND IN ORDER TO MAXIMIZE STRATEGIC ADVANTAGE IN COMING ANNEXATION.
ADDENDUM: FOLLOWS A GRAPHICAL REPRESENTATION HUMEROUSLY COMPRESSING ENTIRE EXPERIENCE FOR ENJOYMENT OF SOCIALIST MASSES. NOTE USE OF "HALLOWEEN COSTUMES" OF "THE TERMINATOR AND JOHN CONNOR FROM T2" FOR USE IN BLENDING INTO CROWDS OF AMERICAN APES
:::END TRANSMISSION
VicariousE
Quite an after action report, thanks for not peeing on our tree of liberty whilst here. Was kinda hoping for a more 'in depth' report about this sirundead fellow, and your close quarters activities ;) BTW, you Northerners better not try to annex NG HQ, that's neutral ground (and Tom's neutered lol)
Paxilon
"Tree of Liberty." most interesting. ...where, uh, would such a tree be found...? I simply wish to...pay my respects to..such a majestic symbol of American Pig-Freedom...
We ended up having a friendly knife fight over a baggie of brown heroin behind a theatre. Cant get more in-depth and close quarters than embracing a man to push a six inch shiv into his kidney ;)
NG HQ will be the last to fall. The Fulp will be the last to bow to the Communist Engine, but in the end, he WILL bow.